Please see the new message regarding Diamond Payments in the Help ForumĀ here.
Close it  
User Name  Password
Photobucket
Silken Fire's Fireplace is On Temporary (Monitored) Hiatus
Title: Why Marry?
Hop to: 
Search Tags: marry
Views:108     
New Topic New Poll
<<Previous ThreadNext Thread>>
Page 1 / 1    
AuthorComment
Silken_Fire
 Author    



Rank:Diamond

Score: 50800
From: Canada
Registered: 11/06/2008

(Date Posted:01/24/2009 13:46)
Share to: Facebook Twitter MSN linkedin google yahoo

Why marry?

Although living together is now acceptable, 60 per cent of cohabiting couples still get married after a few years. Relationship psychotherapist Paula Hall looks at why we still marry in the face of divorce statistics and how to make sure it's the right choice for you.


"Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution yet" - Mae West

Did you know?

Source: Office of National Statistics

  • In 2002 there were 254,400 marriages in England and Wales. Of these, 150,200 were first marriages for both parties, while 46,700 were remarriages for both parties.
  • The average age for first marriages in England and Wales in 2002 was 31 for men and 29 for women.
  • Divorces increased by 1.9 per cent in 2002 to 160,000.

Good reasons to marry

Because you're in love. Although love shouldn't be the only reason to marry, it's an important ingredient in the most successful relationships.

To make a commitment. You've decided that you want to be together forever, knowing each other's faults and failings.

It's part of your culture. The ceremony of marriage is an integral part of your cultural or religious beliefs and an essential part of your core value system.

To start a family. You've both enjoyed a secure and committed relationship for some time and feel marriage is the best environment in which to bring up children.

To celebrate. Because you want your family and friends to share with you in your happiness and commitment as a couple.

It's the right time. You have a solid and secure relationship and it feels like the logical next step.

Before you tie the knot, take a look at Questions to ask before marriage.

Bad reasons to marry

To make your relationship secure. If your relationship isn't secure before you marry, there's no reason to think it will be afterwards. It may be harder for you to separate after marriage, but that doesn't mean you'll be happy.

Fear of being alone. Some people marry because they're scared that no one else will have them. Remember, it's better to be left on the shelf than spend your whole life in the wrong cupboard.

For the children. It's true that, on the whole, children benefit from living with two parents, but marrying purely for your child is unlikely to create a happy home environment.

You want a big wedding. The big white wedding may seem like a fairy tale come true, but it only lasts a day. Marriage is (supposed to be) for life.

To recover from divorce. Some people want a second marriage to help them to get over the first - to prove that they're OK. But those feelings must come from within.

You may have many more reasons why you want to marry. The most important thing is that you and your partner have fully discussed your reasons and that you're both confident you share the same motivation and intentions.

Fears and expectations

As well as looking at your reasons for getting married it's important to look at what you expect from married life. Some people blame current divorce rates on the fact that people expect too much from marriage, but this isn't necessarily the case.

As long as you both share the same expectations, you can work together to achieve them. But if you both expect different things, one of you will always be disappointed. Try the exercise Your marriage fears and expectations to find out what you both think the future holds.

Your expectations and fears may be influenced by many things, including experiences of friends, previous relationships and media images. But one of the most powerful influences will be your family.

As small children we learn about relationships by watching our parents. These messages often sink deep into our unconscious mind, waiting to pop up when we become wives or husbands ourselves.

It's perfectly natural to have doubts and fears about getting married - it's one of the biggest decisions we make in our lives. But as long as you and your partner can openly share your feelings, support and reassure each other, chances are you're on the right track.

usertype:1
Aimoo Team
Share to: Facebook Twitter MSN linkedin google yahoo 1# 



RE:Why Marry?
(Date Posted:02/08/2009 23:27)

This message has been deleted due to Termination of Account.
Silken_Fire
Share to: Facebook Twitter MSN linkedin google yahoo 2# 



Rank:Diamond

Score:50800
From: Canada
Registered:11/06/2008

RE:Why Marry?
(Date Posted:02/09/2009 01:13)

Well, I've also been married twice.  The first time was for 7 years and the 2nd time was for 16 years... My first hubby was also my best friend but I was an immature wife and he was still needing to party... We stayed close until he was killed on his bike a few years later... My 2nd hubby and I started out as best friends but a few years later, his increased drinking left me lonely and sad.  I remember thinking that even if I was lonely as a single, I'd at least have the freedom to go spend time with other people.  There is nothing lonelier than a silent marriage in my books. 

Still and all, I've searched my heart for the answer to whether or not I'd ever marry again.  I can't come up with one practical reason as to why I should remarry... Not even a skinny one.  But... I'm not in love and I know that when I am, the 11th heaven is the limit so, I can't say I would never remarry.  I can just say that right now, I don't feel like it.

usertype:1 tt= 0
ShYaNn
Share to: Facebook Twitter MSN linkedin google yahoo 3# 



Rank:Emerald

Score:2580
From: Canada
Registered:11/08/2008

Re:Why Marry?
(Date Posted:02/09/2009 01:56)

For myself, I don't find any reason to get married. It's over rated.

usertype:1 tt= 0
Aimoo Team
Share to: Facebook Twitter MSN linkedin google yahoo 4# 



RE:Why Marry?
(Date Posted:02/20/2009 13:01)

This message has been deleted due to Termination of Account.
ShYaNn
Share to: Facebook Twitter MSN linkedin google yahoo 5# 



Rank:Emerald

Score:2580
From: Canada
Registered:11/08/2008

Re:Why Marry?
(Date Posted:02/20/2009 14:47)

No... Biggest mistake or so I've heard is blowing your bankroll on a wedding. Alot x amount, stay within that limit. A nice wedding can be built on minimal funding, people do it all the time.
usertype:1 tt= 0
Aimoo Team
Share to: Facebook Twitter MSN linkedin google yahoo 6# 



RE:Why Marry?
(Date Posted:03/09/2009 14:35)

This message has been deleted due to Termination of Account.
Ex-member
Share to: Facebook Twitter MSN linkedin google yahoo 7# 



RE:Why Marry?
(Date Posted:05/01/2009 11:10)

I, too, have been married twice...once when I was 19 going on 13 and she was 16 going on 5. Needless to say.....we argued a LOT. Lasted about 9 months although the actual divorce cam 6 yrs. later. Went directly into 2nd marriage with an absolutely gorgeous, wonderful lady. Lasted 23 years. I blew it. I was devestated.....I mean....DEVESTATED....when she left. !!!!!!!  Took me 2 years before I even wanted to TALK to another woman. 6 years before I would date. It has been over 12 yrs. now and I cannot really even see myself having a relationship.....as I was married to my "soul mate" and none could compare(I think). Yes....I DO compare....knowing it's wrong....but that's the way it is.  I still kick myself in the ass sometimes....but the real heartache has subsided. I still put the toilet seat down
<<Previous ThreadNext Thread>>
Page 1 / 1    
New Topic New Poll
We are on temporary (monitored) hiatus. Please check back and thank you for your interest in our group!
Sign Up | Create | About Us | SiteMap | Features | Forums | Show Off | Faq | Help
Copyright © 2000-2017 Aimoo Free Forum All rights reserved.

Get cheapest China Wholesale,  China Wholesale Supplier,  to be a retailer is easy now.
LUFFY LUFFY LUFFY
LUFFY LUFFY LUFFY LUFFY LUFFY LUFFY