||Signs of Abuse|
Feel you can't live without him.
Stop seeing other friends or family, or give up activities you enjoy because he doesn't like them.
Are afraid to tell him your worries and feelings about the relationship.
Are often compliant because you are afraid to hurt his feelings; and have the urge to "rescue" him when he is troubled.
Feel that you are the only one who can help him and that you should try to "reform" him.
Find yourself apologizing to yourself or others for your partner's behaviour when you are treated badly.
Stop expressing opinions if he doesn't agree with them.
Stay because you feel he will kill himself if you leave.
Believe that his jealousy is a sign of love.
Have been kicked, hit, shoved, or had things thrown at you by him when he was jealous or angry.
Believe the critical things he says to make you feel bad about yourself.
Believe that there is something wrong with you if you don't enjoy the sexual things he makes you do.
Believe in the traditional ideas of what a man and a woman should be and do -- that the man makes the decisions and the woman pleases him.
(some people) Have been abused as a child or seen your mother abused.
If you are abused:
- You are not alone and you are not to blame. You cannot control his violence. There are ways you can make yourself safer:
- Call the police if you have been assaulted. Charging abusive males is a necessary step in reducing physical violence.
- Tell someone and keep a record of all incidents for evidence.
- Write down the details for yourself as soon as possible after the assault. Keep it in a safe place where he won't find it.
- Develop a safety plan. Memorize emergency numbers. Keep spare house and car keys handy. Know where you can stay in an emergency.
- Consider ending the relationship as soon as possible. Without intervention, his violence will increase in frequency and severity as time passes.
- Recognize that no one has the right to control you and that it is everyone's human right to live without fear.
Look out for men who:
- Do not listen to you, ignore you or talk over you.
- Sit or stand too close to you, making you uncomfortable and seem to enjoy it.
- Do only what they want or push you to get what they want.
- Express anger and violence towards women either through words or physically.
- Have a bad attitude toward women.
- Are overly possessive or jealous.
- Drink or use drugs heavily.
- Have a reputation for "scoring".
(Message edited by Silken_FireOn01/25/2009 18:24)