hey there ... :-)
...... yes you :-)
okay, I guess if you're in the CAI and browsing 'discretely' the forums, you may be thinking the unthinkable or have really awkward and unsettling thoughts.
>>>>>>>>>>> THIS IS OKAY ! :-) <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
(I guess that surfing the forum and thinking the unthinkable (...leaving...) are probably about the worst 2 sins in the CAI (after pre-marital sex, and not baking a cake according to the menus!). :-)
SERIOUSLY .... it takes time to accept that we may actually think of leaving the CAI. It took me over 2 years to get to the point I could actually have the courage to accept that's what my heart/sould were saying to me. ... it then took me another year to actually make the leap !! (but I am a little slow!).
PLEASE read ON... don't go just yet....
yeah, it seems totally insane to think that leaving is possible, an option. BUT LEAVING IS !!
take courage, many have done already.
... and others will leave again.
You may be a oldie, you may have even spent you're entire life in the CAI. you may have invested heavily - emotionally and financially in the assembly, or you may have joined in the last months or years, but take courage, life is good, life will heal. Life is rewarding and an adventure. Life is positive. Life is rewarding.
Pain and much anguish will be experienced immediately before leaving, and most likely immediately after committing to leaving, but this will pass swiftly. You'll soon see you've made the right choice. It may take time to adjust to the world outsdie again. Officers and cell-leaders are not legitimate authorities, they may appear to hold the keys to your life, but they don't. The CAI is but a house of cards- a facade, the leaders are paper-tigers blowing hot air and assuming they are masters of the world. They are a scary bunch, but take courage , .... I similarly feared them also for a long time.
God will guide you, trust your heart when the biggest wolf (officer) is yelling at you and threatening you with hellfire and loss of 'grace', or seeks to threaten and scare you... these are toothless threats.. your heart knows the truth, hold on.... you're almost free.
from the outside :-)
keep safe and be true.
It"s never too late to leave. Even if yon"ve been in the Assembly a long time.