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Title: The Mary I Poems
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Forever_Amber
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Rank:Diamond Member

Score: 575
Posts: 575
From: USA

(Date Posted:02/20/2009 8:28 AM)
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From: MSN NicknamePainter12952 Sent: 1/1/2003 5:02 PM
"Hey Doc! Now that I've paid your fee,
How come there's not a babe in me?
I got a husband fresh from Spain,
When will I get a labor pain?"
 
"I checked you out! You're still a maid!
You can't have kids until you're laid!!
You cannot do this on your own,
You and your husband have to bone!"
 
"But then he'd have to share my  bed!
He'd rather read a book instead!
Why can't there be another way?
My Philip doesn't like to play!"
 
"You've got to turn him on somehow,
And make him keep his wedding vow!
You are the queen, so force the guy,
And make him give some love a try!"
 
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
"Hey Philip! Come and do me NOW!
I want an heir, and this is how!
The doctor says to have some fun
And I'll be knocked up when we're done!"
 
"But Mary! You have rotten breath,
And you just scare me half to death!
I married you, I paid my debt
And THAT,  my dear,  is all you get!"
 
"I'll brush my teeth! I'll comb my hair!
I'll buy a negligee to wear!
I've got to have a Catholic kid
Or else the pope will flip his lid!
 
I'm desperate Philip! Do me please!
Look here! I'm begging on my knees!
It's treason if you don't obey
You want to keep your head today?"
 
?????????????????????????????????????????????
 
"It's morning!! What a happy day!
We did it, and I had my way!
He's SUCH a man! Oh what a stud!
I'll have a child with Spanish blood!!
 
Good England! Hear the joyful news!
The prince has paid his marriage dues!
Look see! My tummy's getting fat!
I'm pregnant folks! Imagine that!"
 
....................................................................................................
 
(The months pass by, there is no child.
It's been a while since Mary smiled.
Her rotten teeth have fallen out,
She rubs her belly, with a pout.)
......................................................................................................
 
"My stomach's bigger every day,
I'm SURE the child is on it's way!
If it don't hurry, I'll go nuts
And then,  I'm gonna kick some butts!"
 
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
 
And the rest, as they say is Hysteria
 
The End
(Message edited by Forever_AmberOn02/20/2009 8:29 AM)
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Forever_Amber
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Rank:Diamond Member

Score:575
Posts:575
From: USA

RE:The Mary I Poems
(Date Posted:02/20/2009 9:14 AM)

From: MSN NicknamePainter12952 Sent: 4/22/2004 11:30 PM
 
 
Poor Mary my fanny! The broad was a nut
Who got all her  jollies by burning some butt!
The woman was wicked and nobody cried
When the dame kicked the bucket and finally died.
 
The queenie was batty !  She shouldn't have ruled
She said she was preggers and had herself fooled!
So she took out her pain on the people she led
And she burned them all up or she cut off a head!
 
Olde England rejoiced when she bit on the dust
So they cried out in joy and said, "Lizzie's a must!"
Long live the new queen! We are glad to have Bess
Cuz her sister is dead and we couldn't care less!
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