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Title: The Jane Seymour Poems
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Forever_Amber
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Posts: 575
From: USA

(Date Posted:02/20/2009 7:51 AM)
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From: MSN NicknamePainter12952Sent: 1/1/2003 4:08 PM
 
Good News! The dreadful Anne is dead
And I will be the queen instead!
I'll get to wear the Tudor crown
When Henry takes me on the town!
 
I'll reign supreme! I'll be the best!
Cause I am better than the rest!
I will succeed and have a son
Cuz Annie couldn't give him one!
 
I'm glad she had a baby girl
And made the dashing Henry hurl!
It served her right, it really did!
She SHOULD have had a different kid!
 
So now she's gone. She has no head,
And me and Henry's gonna wed.
I'll be adorned with lots of jewels,
And Hank will execute some fools.
 
**************************************
 
Success! I had the baby Ed!
I get to keep my royal head!
So why am I in all this pain?
Is this the end of all my reign?
 
Oh rats! I think I'm gonna die!
I'm bleeding! My insides are dry!
It isn't fair! I had the boy
For all of England to enjoy!
 
Alas! My time is running short!
And I won't make it to the court!
And knowing Hank the way I do,
He's sure to bone a broad or two!
 
As soon as I am here no more,
He'll get engaged to number four!
I know that it ain't gonna last
Cuz all his broads are in the past.
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Rank:Diamond Member

Score:575
Posts:575
From: USA

RE:The Jane Seymour Poems
(Date Posted:02/20/2009 8:00 AM)

From: MSN NicknamePainter12952 Sent: 1/1/2003 4:34 PM
Come hither Henry! Lend an ear!
It's time that WE get married, dear!
Make ME the queen, I'll have a son,
Since Number Two won't give you one!
 
So here's the plan, we make up lies,
And say she slept with lots of guys!
We'll also say that she's a witch
Who has a fork-ed tongue to pitch!
 
Let's have a trial! Arrest her now!
We'll say she broke her wedding vow!
They'll find her guilty right away
And won't believe a word she'll say!
 
This will be fun! I cannot wait!
Let's go and plan our wedding date!
We'll marry soon as she is dead,
So hurry up! Chop off her head!
Why Jane! I love it! This is grand!
I'll make you queen of all the land!
Who cares that you don't have a chin,
I will be rid of Anne Boleyn!
Hey Anne! Guess what? You're gonna die!
I'll let you give the sword a try!
We lied and said you slept around
So Jane could get to wear the crown!
 
You had no son! You can't produce,
And so you have to set me loose!
You have to go! There's no divorce,
Because your luck has run its course!
You lousy man! You rotten king!
I tried to give you everything!
I helped you rid yourself of Kate,
And YOU repay my love with hate?
 
It's not my fault your seed is bad
And YOU could not produce a lad!
I baked exactly what you made
And THIS is how I'm getting paid?
 
My goose is cooked, and I don't care!
Your Jane will die, and you'll despair!
Your son will croak, and Bess will reign
You're gonna loose, but I will gain!!
 
THPPPT!
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Rank:Diamond Member

Score:575
Posts:575
From: USA

RE:The Jane Seymour Poems
(Date Posted:02/20/2009 8:49 AM)

From: MSN NicknamePainter12952 Sent: 1/8/2003 12:04 AM
Dear Abby,
 
I'm writing this because you're smart,
and I want Henry Tudor's heart.
He's married to his second wife,
She's interfering with my life life !
 
I want to wear the golden crown
And have a fancy wedding gown!
Do you have some advice for me
So I can be wife number three ?
 
Much obliged,
Jane Seymour
 
            
 
Dear Jane,
 
Tis sad to love a married man,
But I will give the help I can !
I'm glad you wrote ! That's why I'm here !
I'm happy that you bent my ear !
 
I am the pro, so listen up
And YOU can drink from Henry's cup !
I've hatched a most delightful plot
 So you can get what Anne has got !
 
I hear that she won't have a son
But I bet you can give him one !
So tell him that she fools around
And that a worse wife can't be found.
 
Say that you'll have a baby boy
And add some more lies to your ploy !
Suggest to him that she's a witch
And you would be a better hitch !
 
Happy to help,
Abby
 
            
 
Dear Abby
 
I thank you fo your wise reply ,
Because I finally got the guy !
He did propose, and I said " Yes " .
So I can wear a wedding dress !
 
It was such fun !  There was a trial !
When she is dead, I'm gonna smile !
They'll cut her head off with a sword
And I'll give Henry his reward !
 
Many Thanks,
Jane Seymour
From: MSN NicknamePainter12952 Sent: 1/9/2003 10:17 PM
Dear Jane
 
How nice ! ! I'm glad you got the prize
By following what I advised !
I am the best at what I do,
And I wish all the best for you !
 
Now hurry up ! Produce the heir !
When he is born, make one to spare !
Just make sure that it's not a lass ,
If you intend to stay first class.
 
I'm waiting here for your reply ,
So write before much tim goes by !
I just love happy endings ,  Jane ,
So get on with your labor pain ! ! !
 
Cheers,
Abby
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Rank:Diamond Member

Score:575
Posts:575
From: USA

RE:The Jane Seymour Poems
(Date Posted:02/20/2009 8:51 AM)

From: MSN NicknamePainter12952 Sent: 1/9/2003 10:40 PM
Hey Abby ! ! I'm so mad at you ! !
You should given me a clue !
I had a kid , yes , it's a boy
But childbirth , woman , ain't a joy ! !
 
I'm stuck in bed since he was born ,
I'm feeling sick ! I am forlorn ! !
I'm sure that I won't have no more
Cuz I will lock the chamber door !
 
I'm gonna die and it' s your fault
That my young life will meet a halt !
I should have stayed a single maid
And not a woman Henry laid ! !
 
THPPPT ! ! ! ! !
Jane Seymour
From: MSN NicknamePainter12952 Sent: 1/9/2003 10:47 PM
Oh shut up Jane ,  you're such a fake !
You can't blame ME for your mstake !
You had your cake and ate it too
The first wife 's dead because of you !
 
It 's time to pay the reaper grim
It's not MY fault you married him !
So cheer up woman ,  when you're dead
At least you got to keep your head.
 
Sheesh !
Abby
 


(Message edited by Forever_Amber On 02/20/2009 8:54 AM)
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