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Title: The Catherine Howard Poems
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From: USA

(Date Posted:02/20/2009 7:59 AM)
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From: MSN NicknamePainter12952Sent: 1/1/2003 4:28 PM
 
My dear Culpepper, I am queen!
I do not like it! Henry's mean!
He takes me to his bed at night,
And tries to do me! It ain't right!
 
He cannot get it up at all,
And then he throws me in the hall!
"Get out!" He yells, and then I cry.
I wonder when he's gonna die?
 
I wish that I was in YOUR bed,
And cannot wait till Henry's dead.
He is quite old, and ill of health
And I'll inherit all his wealth!!
 
Won't it be fun when he's a stiff?
Perhaps we'll toss him off a cliff!
He really is a lousy king,
But you're the best of everything."
 
Love,
Cathy
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
 
"Your Grace! Your wife's a little tramp!
She had this note without a stamp!
It's treason! Read the note and weep,
Then we will try the little creep."
*********************************
 
"Egads! The words you say are true!
She is a slut! This will not do!
I'm KING, and I can mess around,
But Cathy has just lost her crown!
 
Go get her now ! Take her away!
She screwed it up! She's gonna pay!
I had no proof with Anne Boleyn
But this one has admitted sin!"
 
"Cathy Howard!! You're a whore!
We'll make sure that you bone no more!
You said you wanted Henry dead,
But you are gonna die instead!"
 
*********************************
 
"Oh rats! I am a goner now!
I'm gonna take my final bow!
What shall I do? What will I wear?
And who is gonna do my hair?
 
I will be strong! I have to try!
I'm gonna hold my head up high!
Hey guard! Bring me a chopping block
I have a head they're gonna hock."

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Rank:Diamond Member

Score:575
Posts:575
From: USA

RE:The Catherine Howard Poems
(Date Posted:02/20/2009 8:32 AM)

From: MSN NicknamePainter12952 Sent: 1/1/2003 11:10 PM
I'm heading to London, I'm bringin' my axe.
The King has discovered the juiciest facts!
His council advised him that Cathy was bad,
She slept with Culpepper and Henry got mad!
The Rose had a Thorn!..... Hal's ego was pricked!
The queen was a phony and Henry got tricked!
He said, "Oh my goodness! I'm in such a rut!
I think I'll behead 'er because she's a slut!"
Then I was invited to pay her a call
And chop off her head
So it's not there
At all.
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Rank:Diamond Member

Score:575
Posts:575
From: USA

RE:The Catherine Howard Poems
(Date Posted:02/20/2009 8:59 AM)

Dear Abbey ! I am in distress !
I'm really in an awful mess!
The king found out I slept around
Because my secret note was found !
 
You cannot blame me ! He's a creep !
He cannot bone ! He falls asleep !
So when I bagged a younger guy
The monster said we have to die !
 
Catherine, the Quene
Why Cathy ! What a sweet romance !
You and your lover had no chance !
A tragedy like yours is sweet
And it will make your love complete !
 
You must accept your pending doom
While you are sobbing in your room !
Look on the bright side ! When you're dead,
You won't have Henry in your bed !
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Rank:Diamond Member

Score:575
Posts:575
From: USA

RE:The Catherine Howard Poems
(Date Posted:02/20/2009 9:06 AM)

From: MSN NicknamePainter12952 Sent: 8/11/2003 11:01 PM
One night, when I was in my room,
I shivered from impending doom!
They barged right in and chewed me out,
And said I made His Highny pout!
 
"He's mad at you!! He wants you dead
For shagging someone else instead!
So come with us, let's off to court,
To give the king a full report!
 
We have the proof! You wrote it down,
Admitting that you fool around!
It proves that you're a naughty twit
So now you're gonna pay for it!"
 
I cried, "No No!! It musn't be!
Don't take my head away from me!
It isn't fair for me to die
For giving someone else a try!
 
What could I do? I had no choice!
Culpepper made my bones rejoice!
What would YOU do if you were queen
Whose husband had a leg that's green?"
 
And so they took me to the block
When Henry had his aftershock,
And sliced my head right off my neck.
I died before I said, "Oh heck!"
 
The End of Catherine Howard, Queen of England who got her head cut off because she was a slut.
May she rest in pieces,
Amen
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