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Title: The Anne Boleyn Poems
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Rank:Diamond Member

Score: 575
Posts: 575
From: USA

(Date Posted:02/20/2009 7:50 AM)
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From: MSN NicknamePainter12952Sent: 1/1/2003 3:57 PM
My My!! They say I'll soon be dead
And that I'm gonna lose my head!
They lied!! They told the biggest tales!
And now I'm in the worst of jails!

The tower's cold! It has no heat!
The toilet doesn't have a seat!
I have to sleep upon a cot
I feel like I am gonna rot!

Alas! How can it be? No fair!!
I hope they don't chop off my hair!
I guess I'll pin it up real tight
And tuck it neatly out of sight.

That way my hair will stay real nice
When e'er the swordsman takes his slice!
They say he's good! He does it quick!
But I hope that he calls in sick.

They brought him here from overseas,
To cut my head off! What a sleaze!!
Imagine!! What an icky job
To kill me for the royal mob!

I was betrayed!! I did it not!
I am the victim of a plot!
How dare they think I'm such a fool!
I followed Henry's every rule!

I bedded him when he was fat,
And purred just like a cheshire cat.
I made him think he was the best
And now they say I flunked the test.

If Lizzie'd only been a boy,
I would be Henry's pride and joy.
But she is just a lowly lass
And Henry thinks I am an ass.

They also say that I'm a whore
With men behind my bedroom door.
Forsooth! If only it were true
But I am QUEEN!! It wouldn't do!!

They say I slept with lotsa guys,
That I'm a hooker in disguise!
Oh pity me! It's not the truth
But Rochford says she has the proof!

They ALSO say that I'm a witch!
(And someone else called me a bitch)
I have six fingers on my hand
And I'm despised in all the land.

Boo hoo!! I do not wanna die!
It's looming soon! I'm gonna cry!
But first I'm gonna have a laugh
Because I AM the better half!

When I am dead, I will live on!
It will be like I'm never gone!
My fame will be forever bold
When someday soon the truth is told!

I'll be a star! They'll love me most!
When Hank's in Hell, he's gonna roast!
The world will long remember me
As England's finest cup of tea.
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Rank:Diamond Member

From: USA

RE:The Anne Boleyn Poems
(Date Posted:02/20/2009 8:27 AM)

From: MSN NicknamePainter12952 Sent: 1/1/2003 4:58 PM
Hey Cathy Howard! How are you?
I see you got beheaded too!
I'm Annie B, the second wife,
I had no son and lost my life!
I think that you were number five
When you were fresh and still alive?
Then Tommy crawled into your bed
You fooled around and lost your head!
It's icky in these Tower halls,
I'm always bumping into walls!
We've lots in common! Be my friend!
We'll haunt the tower end to end!
Won't it be fun? We'll trade our tales
And we can paint each other's nails!
But we can't put our makeup on
Cuz what we had as heads are gone.
usertype:1 tt= 0
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Rank:Diamond Member

From: USA

RE:The Anne Boleyn Poems
(Date Posted:02/20/2009 8:42 AM)

From: MSN NicknamePainter12952 Sent: 1/7/2003 1:35 AM
Dear Abby, 
Wise woman, tell me what to do!
I need to get a clue from you!
You see, I love the Engish king 
And want to wear his wedding ring!
He's married to his brothers wife
And says he's stuck with her for life!
But she is old! Her eggs are poor!
She can't have children anymore!
And Henry wants to bone me now
Because he hates the Spanish cow!
But I won't crawl into his bed
Unless I am the queen instead!
So should I listen to his plea
And let him have his way with me?
Or should I stand up firm and tall
And just say "No no!" after all?
Yours Truly,
Anne Boleyn
Dear Anne,
You silly girl, you need to chill!
If you don't bone him, someone will!
So get yourself knocked up tonight
He'll get divorced and make it right!
The Ages are not Dark no more
And no one's gonna call you "Whore!"
You'll be the queen and wear the crown
And he'll send Cathy out of town!
Sincerely Yours,
Dear Abby,
He dumped her and I am the queen,
I laid an egg, and Hank is mean!
I didn't have a Tudor son
And Henry's really craving one!
He's looking at some other broads
Who may have slightly better odds!
He wants a boy child really bad
And says I blew the chance I had!
So now I'm in the Tower jail
And no one's gonna pay my bail!
I made the King of England scoff
And now I'll get my head cut off!
So give me some real good advice
Before the headsman takes his slice!
How can I get another chance
Before the guy gets here from France?
Cordially Yours,
Anne, the Queen
Dear Anne,
You have no reason to complain,
And I think you're a royal pain!
You were the queen, you had the crown
And now it seems, you've fallen down!
Don't ask me for some further aid,
Because of rotten eggs you laid.
So meet your fate, and lose your head
Cuz Jane is writing me instead.
Tsk Tsk,
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