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Title: A Miscellaneous Cavalcade of History
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Forever_Amber
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Score: 575
Posts: 575
From: USA

(Date Posted:02/20/2009 8:01 AM)
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From: MSN NicknamePainter12952 Sent: 1/1/2003 4:36 PM
 
Prologue
Beloved Wales! The name's Owain!
The Brits are nuts, but I'm insane!
I'm gonna try to set you free
And hope that no one murders me!
 
I knew a guy named Reggie Grey
Who tried to take my land away!
When I complained to Henry Four
He kicked my rear end out the door!
 
So I got mad and got a plan
That I would overthrow the man!
I need your help! Be on my side
And we'll take England for a ride!!
 
I'm Prince of Wales! My blood is blue!
I'm gonna make your dreams come true!
We will be free! Let's go to war!
We won't put up with this no more!
 
==================================
 
Epilogue
Oh crud! We lost! My face is red
The lousy king still isn't dead!
We are not free! We're crummy Brits!
I think it stinks and it's the pits.

From: MSN NicknamePainter12952 Sent: 1/1/2003 4:40 PM
 
Yes there is something I can't rhyme,
And now it bugs me all the time!
It's all your fault! You are to blame!
I cannot rhyme Owain's last name!
 
Glyn Dwr? What's that? What's wrong with Smith?
There's nothing I can rhyme it with!
My heart is broke! I am distressed!
I cannot pass the poets test!
 
Off with my head! What could be worse?!!
I can no longer post in verse!!
Alas! This ain't my lucky day.
You found a word that I can't say.
 
Going
Going
Gone
**
*

(Message edited by Forever_AmberOn02/20/2009 8:19 AM)
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Rank:Diamond Member

Score:575
Posts:575
From: USA

RE:A Miscellaneous Cavalcade of History
(Date Posted:02/20/2009 8:06 AM)

From: MSN NicknamePainter12952 Sent: 1/1/2003 4:48 PM
 
Hooray!They finally found my grave!
It's dark down in this lonely cave!
I hope they dig me up real quick
And find out why I got so sick!
 
I died too young! I had no life!
I had no chance to bone my wife!
"Fie fie!" I cried! "What crummy fate!
That Henry's gonna marry Kate!"
 
He'll be the king, and I'll be dead,
And she will have his sons instead!"
But Katey never had a son
And Henry really wanted one!
 
He got so mad, he found a whore
And Katherine was queen no more!
Poor thing! I felt so bad, I cried
And wished to heck I hadn't died!
 
But rats!! I had to go and croak
Much younger than the other folk!
I sweat so hard, it made me dry
When I was just a little guy.
Arthur Tudor FYI folks
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Forever_Amber
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Rank:Diamond Member

Score:575
Posts:575
From: USA

RE:A Miscellaneous Cavalcade of History
(Date Posted:02/20/2009 8:18 AM)

From: MSN NicknamePainter12952 Sent: 1/1/2003 4:53 PM
Act 1
 
"Knock knock old woman! Let me in!
You have to pay for all your sin!
It's time to die! Don't make a scene!
Come with me to the Tower Green!"
 
"How kind of you to visit me!
Come in and have a spot of tea!
It's lovely that you paid a call,
I'm not so lonely after all!"
 
"You didn't hear a word I said!
I'm taking you to lose your head!
Go change your clothes! Wear something old!
And take off all your jewels and gold!"
 
"What's that you say? You brought a rose?
I'll get a vase! Here's where it goes!
We'll  put in on the window sill
Make sure the water doesn't spill!"
 
"Good grief old lady! Can't you hear?
You should be scared and full of fear!
Say bye bye to your graying head
When it is gone, you will be dead!"
 
"I love fresh air! Let's go outside!
I'll let you take me for a ride!
You're such a nice boy! Take my hand,
I'm old. I'm sure you understand!"
 
Act 2
 
"I got her! This is Margaret Pole!
Chop off her head and make it roll!
She's doesn't know what's going on
And that her life will soon be gone!"
 
"How pretty! I feel like a lass!
Let's have a picnic on the grass!
I love it on the green! It's nice!
Let's eat some little cakes of spice!"
 
"You daffy dame! Lay down your head!
I'll chop it off and make you dead!
The king said that you gotta go,
And I intend to make it so!'
 
"Oh this is fun! Let's have a race!
I feel young in this pretty place!
We'll play some tag, and you be it!
When I am tired, I will sit!"
 
"I got ya! Here's the chopping block!
I got my axe, I'm taking stock!
This is my first beheading though,
I'll try to do it with one blow."
 
"I'm tired now! This is a wrap!
I'll lay down here and take a nap.
If I should die before I wake
I pray the Lord my soul to take."
 
"Whack!.......Why is she still attached?
Chop chop! ...Why isn't  it dispatched?!!!
Hack hack hack! The broad ain't dead
Her head is hanging by a thread!"
 
"Oh silly boy! You're such a bore!
I guess you'll go for number four!
Now hurry up! Pick up the axe
Cuz Painter has a poem to wax."
 
The End
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Rank:Diamond Member

Score:575
Posts:575
From: USA

RE:A Miscellaneous Cavalcade of History
(Date Posted:02/20/2009 8:34 AM)

From: MSN NicknamePainter12952 Sent: 1/1/2003 11:45 PM
 
I'm goin' to Stratford to get me inspired.
And end up like Willie before he expired!
If I learn all his words, and I copy his style
My stuff won't get dumped in the circular file.
 
I'll visit his house, then I'll sneak in his bed,
And maybe his smarts'll rub off on my head!
So next time I pick up some ink and a quill,
You'll think that it's poetry written by Bill.
 
NOT
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Rank:Diamond Member

Score:575
Posts:575
From: USA

RE:A Miscellaneous Cavalcade of History
(Date Posted:02/20/2009 9:15 AM)

From: MSN NicknamePainter12952 Sent: 4/22/2004 11:37 PM
I wasn't guilty! I was framed!
She was the slut, but I got blamed!
They found her naked in the bed,
She said that it was ME instead!
 
They found her underneath the guy
She said, "JANE gave his bones a try!"
She lied and tried to save her life
And said I was the culprit's wife!
 
Well that was it! I got real mad,
And told 'em that the queen was bad.
"She is a tramp! She sleeps around
Wherever handsome men are found!"
 
You should have heard her! There she was,
"JANE sleeps around! I never does!"
They didn't know who told the truth
And said that we were both uncouth!
 
The court was mad! They felt so used,
And Henry said , "I am confused!
My leg is sore! Where are my meds?
I don't care, cut off BOTH their heads!
 
So now you got the cold hard facts,
And both of us have met the axe.
I watched 'em chop off Cathy's head
Then minutes later, I was dead.
 
Jane Parker Boleyn, Lady Rochford
I trusted that painter to tell my tale right,
And he messed up a part of my miserable plight.
In his very last verse, when they cut off my head,
It was me who went first, and not Cathy instead.
 
She watched 'em behead me, I met the axe first
And they whacked it right off and my arteries burst.
Then Howard was next, and she laid her head down
And a few seconds later, it fell on the ground.
 
Now Painter, take heed, when you're telling a tale,
Get all your facts straight so the story don't fail.
You're really too hasty when  making a rhyme
So slow down and take just a little more time!!!
 
Harump!
Lady Jane Rochford, Beheaded at Large


(Message edited by Forever_Amber On 02/20/2009 9:16 AM)
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