ORIGINAL POST OCTOBER 7th 2005




" There is news not yet known by all officially though touched on briefly in a book about me, one of the many of course and that being the fact that cocaine was found in my handbag in the car. The reason for this being that Dodi did use this recreational drug as do so many in both the society and celebrity worlds, perhaps reason why those in them are often referred to as "Living the high life" though increasingly and disturbingly so, something readily available on the streets too! So was I with a "Coke Head" as someone with the habit is termed? .......and the answer to that being not at all! Dodi did not have a serious cocaine habit but using, he never the less had an addiction problem that needed help and attention in sorting out, something I who never used was more than willing to give to him aware of the harmful effects of any drug usage recreational or otherwise and naturally determined to do all I could to assist him in any way I could in stopping. I knew that focus by me upon this would achieve that result, which I was determined to do for the sake of our future together. Genuine care and understanding of it being a very necessary part of the process and naturally something easy for me to give him and for obvious reasons, I was in love with him. In my work I had been around addicted users enough to know how to help them, what to do and what not to do and had learnt that the worst thing to enforce upon them was "Cold Turkey " as it's known or enforced complete abstinence, this doing much more harm than good. As with any kind of addiction problem, the person addicted must themselves desire and be determined to give up that addiction if they have any hope at all of succeeding and this is something Dodi did want to do desperately as he knew that if there was to be any chance of a relationship developing between us, this would naturally be a condition imposed upon by me in respect that I would not welcome my boys being exposed to it so close to home though naturally they too having witnessed it themselves with me albeit accompanying me in my work, something encouraged deliberately by me as I knew it was educational and ultimately something which would be of great benefit to them. The discovery of cocaine being found on me in the car was something naturally hushed up by the authorities as apart from it's being illegal, taking into consideration how my boys would have felt had it been made public knowledge as well as of course the national and international outcry news like this would have brought in regards to me, something which doesn't bear thinking about! Heavens, I might have lost that halo some people seem so intent I wear! On my site though I have said that the truth about everything will be told and so it is important for me that with no stone unturned it is as being somewhere where there is complete honesty about everything! I am aware that this news will shock some of you and I may consequently be seen and viewed in a totally different light albeit as I would say anyway, a much more real one.

As I consistently try to point out, I was human with all the failings that go with that which can very easily include falling in love with and being with someone who has a problem and one that is so often judged by others who do not share it and so cannot relate to or indeed even begin to understand it, something I of course even as a non - user myself did and could do because of the knowledge gained by me about addictions of all kinds whilst working in this area as well as of. Of course having done my own homework privately to assist my understanding and comprehension of them which lead me to speak publicly about addictions before meeting him. This in itself was going to be of immense and invaluable help to me in my determination for Dodi to stop using and of course due to my associations with addiction issues being able to seek the right professional advice if this had become a necessity but in Dodi's case who had come as long way himself in his recovery, I thought personally this would be highly unlikely to be necessary at all. So why was I carrying it? Well, I was the one with the handbag and it's a simple as that and was Dodi under its influence in the car? .....No! not at all, as I have said he was not a compulsive user, it being indulged in by him spasmodically ......and things being as tense as they were for us that night therefore not something I would have allowed him to do, not that it was ever something encouraged by me for him to use naturally but particularly in the circumstances we'd found ourselves to be in, there was no question of any kind of cocaine usage by him! Dodi as I say being also aware of the condition imposed upon by me that it would not be welcomed ever by me were our relationship to develop into something more serious and that being every reason necessary for he himself personally to kick the habit completely as he had expressed to me was his intent to do and had proved to me in not using as frequently as I was made aware by him and other people he'd done before our relationship began."




DIANA